Monday, May 17, 2010

They Sabotage My Fitness!

When starting a new fitness program, we often get bombarded with discouragement. As if realizing that we aren’t at our desired health and fitness level isn’t discouraging enough, people close to us tell us we’re fine the way we are, we say this all the time, or get in the way of our goals by their actions. Spouses will seemingly start baking every night to tempt you. Loved ones will ask you out to calorie loaded dinners. Kids will crave your attention as soon as you start to get into your workout.

Let’s talk about kids first.

Having kids near me when I workout can get someone an express pass to the emergency room and it’s probably going to be the smaller mammal. I am big on the P90X and Insanity workout vehicles so I jump around a lot and sometimes have heavy weights in hand. I have found a protective barrier between me and the kids is the best option for this sort of workout.

Before I met my wife, she brought her trusty treadmill into the house so she could run while the kids watched TV. She told one of our strong willed children to stay away from Mr. Treadmill but that just makes my girls want to do it all the more. When she was about three, my oldest daughter Natalie tried jumping onto the treadmill while Mommy was running. She was quickly launched into the wall several feet behind the treadmill. Natalie got off easy. I hear stories of kids putting their hands in the belt, removing flesh and breaking bones. Exercise equipment can be dangerous for little ones.

Point: Protect your kids from your equipment. With some kids, you can equipment proof your kids through training and discipline. For others, you will need to kid proof your equipment. I find it best for me to keep my dangerous stuff in my gym; a small add-on to my garage.

If you are using Beachbody or other DVD programs to get fit, you are likely doing it in your living room. Sweet deal! Low overhead, personal trainer in your home, coach via email and phone, how can you go wrong?! Kids. They don’t know they are doing it, and they don’t do it out of some desire to be evil, they just need attention and when they have Mom and Dad in a room working out together, it makes a prime opportunity in their eyes to get lots of it.

Now it is important that you know I am not a child development expert. I generally think myself the last person to give parenting advice so please sanity check this for me!! My parenting experience comes from being a leader in our armed forces for a little over a decade. Yes, when you are dealing with shaved headed 18 year olds, you are dealing with children. I was one, I know! Add to that that I married into a four year old and a seven year old. We had a new sort of boot-camp every few weeks until I got them ship-shape! Now my girls are eight and eleven and I am pretty proud of ‘em.

Kids don’t use adult logic well. They use what I call monkey logic. Monkeys often seem to think only of their own needs. Living in a world of instant gratification, they seem to never think about tomorrow. You aren’t going to attain compliance to your wishes using adult logic. Depending on the age of your monkeys, you may have to consider a rule and reward system. Explain to them that this is Mommy and Daddy’s time to get healthy so they can live a long time and that they need a little quiet and space for an hour. Make a reward chart and post it on the fridge with a row for each of your workouts in a week and a column for each child or monkey. Give them a gold star for each time they let you workout uninterrupted and a treat that night for supporting you. Five or more gold stars in a week gives them an extra something special like a movie rental or extra trip to the park… something special that won’t break the bank.

If they are older, I like to threaten their existence. They have learned that I am not serious, but they get the message and we can all joke about it later.

A sitter may be in order if your kids are so young or unmanageable that you can’t get your workout done. This may mean that mom and dad need to workout at different times of the day so one can distract the monkeys while the other works out. This may mean dad goes to bed a little earlier than the family to wake up early and bring it or vice versa with mom working out in the morning.

If they are old enough to get involved, GET THEM WORKING OUT WITH YOU FOR GOD’S SAKE! Did you suddenly wake up unhealthy or did you get there as a result of years of bad decisions? Help your kids set the right habits now and you may increase the value of their time on earth. I sometimes run while the kids ride their bikes and struggle to keep up with me. Depending on your fitness, you may make the kid run while you ride their bike!

The overwhelming support and encouragement of well meaning loved ones. Sarcasm Anyone?
sab•o•tage (s b -täzh ) n. 1. Destruction of property or obstruction of normal operations, as by civilians or enemy agents in time of war. 2. Treacherous action to defeat or hinder a cause or an endeavor; deliberate subversion. (thefreedictionary.com/sabotage).

You’ve probably heard it or even said it yourself…

“I don’t know why you are trying so hard. You look fine the way you are!”

“You just need to accept your genetic code. Everyone in our family is built like this.”

“Oh your starting a fitness program again!? You never finish what you start when it comes to fitness.”

Sometimes it isn’t words, but actions. People will seem to start doing or asking you to do the things most contrary to your goal. Loving kitchen queens (or kings) will start baking cookies, cakes and pies. Friends will start asking you out to dinners and movies. Other family will suddenly want a family reunion loaded with food our grandparents could only get away with prior to the industrial revolution when we still had to perform physical labor for our keep.

If the saboteur cares about you, it is likely they don’t realize they are hurting you. Tell them that what you are doing is important to you and that they can help you more by encouraging you than by discouraging you. Don’t let your new fitness life sabotage your social life. Learn to communicate with people in your life. You may not win them over right away (or ever) but they may one day be proud of you!

Have a plan and communicate that with people close to you so they can be on board and supportive by request before they put their foot or actions in their mouth. If you have a family event, ask to cooperate with the coordinator to make sure the menu has items that fit your dietary goals. This wouldn’t be out of line if you were a vegetarian or a Muslim, why should it seem out of line if you are trying to get healthy?

Compromise to spend time with loved ones. If someone you care about wants to go out when you have fitness time scheduled, see if you can move around your schedule or theirs to make it work. If you have “first thing in the morning” scheduled for your workout, try to plan earlier meetings with friends so you can get enough rest to “Bring It.”

The most important thing to remember is that you are the manager of your own life. You manage your financial budget, your time budget, and your calorie budget. Don’t let anything or anyone discourage you from what you want or need to do to reach your goals. If you fail, it isn’t likely to affect anyone but you. Except that when it comes to health, you family may be counting on you to help mentor your grandchildren.

Start managing your health now so that you can be that grandparent you children and grandchildren need you to be.

Links:
Why You Got Fat
Journal It! Nutrition Edition
Shopping List Magic
Food Journaling Again

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